


let it melt away

by ilovecowchop (tikkikwami)



Category: Cow Chop (youtube group)
Genre: M/M, Rain, anxiety attack, tw: anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-11
Updated: 2016-09-11
Packaged: 2018-08-14 08:49:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8006365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tikkikwami/pseuds/ilovecowchop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the reason aleks goes quiet sometimes is that he has really bad anxiety. the reason james goes quiet sometimes is because aleks needs the calm.</p>
            </blockquote>





	let it melt away

“ALEKS!” James yelled from downstairs. After a long day of filming, and several hours of talking and planning for the future shenanigans, most everyone had gone home. Rain pattered on the roof. The only people left in the Cow House were Aleks and James. 

Aleks didn’t respond. He sat in the center of the bed upstairs, knees up to his chest, watching the window and flinching each time he saw lightning. He wasn’t crying. His chest was tight, and he felt dizzy, but no tear tracks marked his cheeks.

He kept watching the window even as he heard James stomp upstairs. “Aleks?” he called more softly this time, recalling the weather. “I know it’s raining. You don’t have to stay here if you’re not feeling alright. Everyone’s already left.” He twisted his mouth in sympathy as he entered the doorway, seeing the Russian shiver on the bed. It was as if Aleks didn’t hear a single word he said.

“Come on,” James quietly sat next to him and took hold of his hand. Encasing his hand with both of his, he warmly rubbed it. “You’re cold. I’m getting you a blanket.” With that, James stood up, and reappeared a moment later with a large knit blanket, wrapping it around Aleks’s shoulders. 

Aleks didn’t respond, continuing to stare at the window. Thunder struck, and a moment lightning flashed, making him flinch his gaze away from the window, shaking. James wrapped his arm around Aleks, scooting closer to sit right beside him, holding Aleks and watching the window with him. 

“You’re pretty upset today, huh,” he observed in a soft voice he reserved only for comforting Aleks. Aleks sighed, feeling completely numb. Not even the presence of his closest friend could stop the anxiety attack from overwhelming him – the shaking, the cold, the headache, the tunnel vision... every symptom was haunting him at this moment. But, that didn’t stop James from trying to comfort him, either.

After a few minutes of James quietly sitting beside him, leaning his head to his and sharing his warmth, Aleks’s anxiety began to slowly leave him. Sensations came back one by one; the ice that froze his senses melted away. He could smell James’s subtle cologne, always present in the household but especially when he was holding Aleks. His tunnel vision subsided; he was able to look away from the window and close his eyes, focusing on calming down. He could hear past the pattering of rain on the window and listen to James’s deep breathing, trying to match his own breathing to the pattern, trying to reach the same level of calm James always had in these situations. He pulled the blanket closer around him as he regained his sense of touch and balance, feeling the warmth and texture of the knitting. 

And he felt taste again, when he pressed his lips against James’s.

**Author's Note:**

> remember to leave a kudos or comment if you liked it - it really means a lot to me! 
> 
> As always, thanks to Aleks and James for being cool enough to let people write fanfics about them. It means a lot that I can headcanon my own issues onto other people and write to vent my own feelings. It's a creative outlet for me that reduces stress and I really appreciate that the Cow Chop guys don't mind it.


End file.
